Sunday, March 18, 2012

What to Expect When You Have a Second Child


Even if you've gone through it once before, pregnancy and birth can be a journey of the unknown. It can be exciting and scary at the same time. With me here are two mums that have been here before and they're headed for the birth experience again.

So, welcome Sam & Thomas and also Emma & Clancy…..

So, are there any unexpected feelings or fears that you are having in this pregnancy?

Emma: I don't know if they are unexpected but there are fears with either pregnancy, you vaguely know what you have ahead of you and I think that's a little bit daunting and I try to pretend it's not happening.

Amanda: It can always be different no matter how many pregnancies you have had...

Sam: I don't have any fears as such, as my first experience was good as they go.

Everything went well and I was fit and healthy, within a very short time frame. I suppose my concern is anything happening twice.....probably not.

Amanda: Do you like being pregnant?

Emma: It's ok this time, I'm more in a hurry...this time. You enjoy being pregnant and people saying ‘oh, you’re pregnant!’ But this time, it is hurry up and give me the baby...

Sam: I quite enjoy it.I'm over the feeling sick, the mark which is good and something to celebrate and be joyful for....I quite enjoy being pregnant. I have notice too having a toddler now that sometimes I forget that I'm pregnant. Your life is so, so busy, whereas your fist one, all you seem concentrate on I'm pregnant and what's happened today and
I’d wait, you know, weekly to read the books and read the emails to find out this week the baby is this big. You’re very, very focused first time around and I find it hard this time to think about.

Amanda: Is there anything you would do differently this time around?

Emma: Uh... I suppose the first time you expected the professionals are the ones leading you...this  time around I’m going to take the lead a bit more. I was waiting for midwives to come around and do something or say something and at one stage I waited a long time and I got really anxious about that. Clearly I'm now a lot more confident about that, now and say to my doctor ‘no come here!’ It took them awhile to get my doctor. This time I would say ‘no!’ I have got more confidence of every aspect of it. Right down to seeing a doctor or having a scan and hoping the same will happen with the birth as well.

Amanda: Sam for you?

Sam: As I said it went well for a first baby, he was a particularly quick birth, so I'm expecting that again and the advice says that will be happening again...I will be calling for the epidural on route to the hospital.

Amanda: Does this pregnancy feel any different from the other pregnancy?

Sam: Mine did at the start, movements early not that we're the baby??, your body changes differently...perhaps the second time you’re a little bit more prepared for things. I also notice that my tummy popped out a lot quicker....and it was a bit frightening.

Amanda: Are you planning to find out or do you know the sex of your baby is?

Emma: We know, we found out on Wednesday, we found out with Clancy and we decided we would find out yes we are having another boy. As much as we are thrilled we don't care for either way. Ummm it allows you to prepare for a house full of testosterone.

Amanda: And same for yourself?

Sam: We found out for Thomas but we are not going to find out this time we want it to be a surprise. Yeah ,I think the first time ideally I felt the need to be prepared, but this time, you know what, if it's a girl, you know, I'm sure pink clothes aren’t tricky to come by.

Amanda: Second time around have you noticed your partner has treated you differently?

Emma: There is not enough time. Whereas like Sam was saying before, this time around you’re so pre-occupied or ready that there is just no time for anything, let alone each other. So, I think that's the hardest bit is you don't have enough time. He doesn't focus on the baby either. It’s hard enough for me to find time, let alone him. That’s the main difference.

Sam: I think the same

Amanda: How are you both preparing birth?

Sam: The one thing that I learned from last time, that I am doing this time is um... work out as best I can at the gym or keep as fit as possible. I found that really helped birth and post birth.

Emma: Yes I'm doing the same thing, lots of exercise trying to keep all that up. Nothing particularly different same hospital, same doctor …

Amanda: Sometimes people have a really bad experience.

Emma: My long labor wasn't reflective of the doctors or midwives, it was just long.

Amanda: Well I hope the second time is easier. Well, guys, thanks very much for sharing your experiences and concerns. Best of luck with both the births and thank you for sharing with us today.

Thank you for joining us today on Room To Grow. If you would like any more information that you have seen on the show...please go to our website We would love to hear your feedback, stories and suggestions about what you would like to see on this show. See you next time.
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